Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Dear son, January 17, 2012

I Spent last two weekends with Kennedy and boy oh boy did I have to reach down and remember those parenting classes.  Kennedy is now in the 2 1/2 stage - Wow!  This adorable little boy has turned into a monster! He used to go right to sleep - not anymore he wants to play and stay up.  He throws himself on the ground with temper tantrums that are truly a masterpiece...his screams scare the birds out of trees. 

I was reading an article about 2 year olds 

Characteristics of Two (and a half) Year Old Behavior

  • 2 1/2 year olds are rigid and inflexible. They want exactly what they want, when they want it. They cannot adapt, give in, wait a little while. Everything has to be done just so. Everything has to be right in the place they consider proper. For any domestic routine, they set up a rigid sequence of events which must always follow each other always in exactly the same manner.
  • They are extremely domineering and demanding. They must give orders. They must make the decisions. If they decide, “mummy do”, daddy cannot be accepted as substitute. If they decide, “Me do it myself”, then no one is allowed to help them, no matter how awkward or incapable they themselves may be.
  • 2 1/2 is an age of violent emotions. There is little modulation to the emotional life of children this age.
  • It is an age of opposite extremes. With no ability to choose between alternatives (it is almost impossible for 2 1/2′s to make a clear cut choice and stick to it). Children of this age shuttle back and forth endlessly between two extremes, seeming to be trying to include both in their decision. “I will – I won’t”, “I want – I don’t want it”, “Go out – stay in”. If someone doesn’t cut into this back and forth shuttling, it has been known to go on for upwards of an hour or more. The decision of what clothes to wear may ursurp a whole morning for a conflict-ridden 2 1/1 year old.
  • Another characteristic of this is age is preservation – that is, the children want to go on and on with whatever they are doing. Not only right at the moment but from day to day. If you read four stories before bedtime yesterday, they want four stories – and the same ones, too – today. It is very difficult with many children this age to introduce new clothes, new pieces of furniture, new things to eat. They want things to go on just the way they have always been or at least hold on to the old as new things are added.

Managing a two and a half year olds behavior

  • Working around the behaviour characteristics of two and a half is often much more successful than trying to meet them head on. (For us with Babaganouski, I know that he will always want me to read his lunch time story before his nap. He often doesn’t want to stop playing though to go to bed. On weekends, I give him the choice of coming to have the story with me now, or in 10 minutes and dad will read the story. He always stops playing and comes with me!)
  • Streamline all routines, limit choices and avoid situations where the child takes over.
  • Great patience, a real understanding of the difficulties of the age, and a willingness to use endless techniques to get around rigidities and rituals and stubbornness will help get through through the time till the difficult 2 1/2 year old turns 3.
What I learned a long time ago in parenting classes to ignore bad behavior and praise good behavior!!  Hands down - some of the best advice ever!  Works with any age, even co workers!....We are learning to tame the beast!

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