I have so many thoughts running thru my head, sometimes I can’t sleep, there is so much I want to tell you and so little time with life pulling in so many directions.
Tonight I want to write about guilt or maybe it is remorse – There were many times I drank and used to not feel the guilt and remorse which, of course, causes a cycle that I had no idea how to get out of! I looked up the word guilt and the answer: A cognitive or an emotional experience that occurs when a person realizes or believes accurately or not-that he or she has violated a moral standard, and bears significant responsibility for that violation. It is closely related to remorse which I looked up: Is an emotional expression of personal regret felt by a person after he or she has committed an act which they deem to be shameful, hurtful, or violent.
I have felt both guilt and remorse and I have regrets – what I want you to know is that I do not wallow in my guilt, nor does it control my life today. I believe some guilt and remorse are healthy in that it reminds me not to repeat those actions or decisions again. Through healthy clean living I have been able to release, let go of – not shut the door completely but enough so I can be happy joyous and free! I have made my amends to you and countless others who were in the middle of my storms.
Most of my amends today are my ACTIONS, ACTIONS DO SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS, MY EXAMPLE, how am I behaving how am I acting?